I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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