Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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