Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
