There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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