so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
