Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
