haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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