y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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