Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
