id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Mom said you looked used
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
