You smell like stripper and shame
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
