No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
