Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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