they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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