I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
