we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
