Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
