its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
