"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
