Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize