I need help removing her.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
