we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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