that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
