If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
