i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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