You're my little dorito
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
