My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
