I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I would ride that face into the sunset
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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