alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
