Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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