There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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