The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
