Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
