Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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