my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
