the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
