barbara walters just said penis...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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