This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
