dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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