do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
