You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize