Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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