It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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