FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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