i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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