So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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