No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize