Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
birth control should be required to get into college
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
