It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
