i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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