I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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