He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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