OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
