Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize