Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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