I must be too annoying 4 u.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
