I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
