TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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