i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize