Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
