so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize