remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
